let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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