Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Its about making memories worth repressing
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
