Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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