News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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