You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
