He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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