covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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