Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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