Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
