yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
