He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
