we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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