the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
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