Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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