No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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