We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
