I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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