after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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