Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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