Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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