As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
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I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize