i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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