Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
do nipples grow back?
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