I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Randomize
