I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
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Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
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I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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