I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
