Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize