4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Come share oat with me in your robe
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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