OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
