How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
