By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
