just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
