I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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