I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize