I don't think brook has ever known best
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize