Hey man sorry I got all grabby
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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