Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
