i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
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