Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
