His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
