I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
