"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
