Just mADE A PArabola og urine
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
