I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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