ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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