Do you still have your period?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
