I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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