I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize