walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
