This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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