I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize