I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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