I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
