I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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